Halliburton World Conquest, Inc.

Effective immediately, the work of Halliburton World Conquest, Inc., needs to be conducted under the utmost secrecy. If the projects we’re working on fail, the company and its employees will almost certainly be liquidated — the company via court receivership, the people in a really big blender.

However, if our work is successful, we’ll have to change our identities and go into hiding so the new regime can’t sanitize its backstory via court receivership and a really big blender.

Hey, nobody said this line of work was easy to live with.

Or, you know, through.

We’re still working the bugs out of our new replacement animatronic Vice President.

We can’t seem to get its IQ low enough to pass for real.

Actually, I haven’t stopped laughing since my last post.

Makes it damn hard to get any work done.

“I probably should have warned them that the delivery system has a tendency to backfire.”

Did I say “tendency?”

Still working on repairing the site, but Acorn’s operation was a success.

Although far from contented, the ornery critter is at least gainfully employed now, making TV commercials for Chick-fil-A — and is up for the lead in “Back to the Barnyard on Ice.”

Update: There we go.

Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for this… spectacle. Please bear with me until I can return to the office and do two things: first, repair the site.

Second, schedule my little sibling for species reassignment surgery.

Maybe something with hooves…

…is love, sweet love.

Hi, I’m Acorn.

My evil, greedy brother, Cheney, is away on (shudder) business right now, so I’ve taken over this site in the name of Multicultural Youth Against Sexual Stereotypes.