Halliburton World Conquest, Inc.

Your favorite evil corporate overlords, new and improved.

Classified

leave a comment »

Effective immediately, the work of Halliburton World Conquest, Inc., needs to be conducted under the utmost secrecy. If the projects we’re working on fail, the company and its employees will almost certainly be liquidated — the company via court receivership, the people in a really big blender.

However, if our work is successful, we’ll have to change our identities and go into hiding so the new regime can’t sanitize its backstory via court receivership and a really big blender.

Hey, nobody said this line of work was easy to live with.

Or, you know, through.

Written by Cheney W. Halliburton

April 27, 2010 at 11:26 am

Posted in Press Releases

Joe Biden v2.1

leave a comment »

We’re still working the bugs out of our new replacement animatronic Vice President.

We can’t seem to get its IQ low enough to pass for real.

Written by Cheney W. Halliburton

April 25, 2010 at 1:33 am

(pause for more evil laughter)

leave a comment »

Actually, I haven’t stopped laughing since my last post.

Makes it damn hard to get any work done.

Written by Cheney W. Halliburton

April 13, 2010 at 6:02 pm

(pause for evil laughter)

leave a comment »

I probably should have warned them that the delivery system has a tendency to backfire.”

Did I say “tendency?”

Written by Cheney W. Halliburton

April 3, 2010 at 8:57 am

Please Stand By

with one comment

Still working on repairing the site, but Acorn’s operation was a success.

Although far from contented, the ornery critter is at least gainfully employed now, making TV commercials for Chick-fil-A — and is up for the lead in “Back to the Barnyard on Ice.”

Update: There we go.

Written by Cheney W. Halliburton

April 1, 2010 at 1:49 pm

ARRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

with one comment

Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for this… spectacle. Please bear with me until I can return to the office and do two things: first, repair the site.

Second, schedule my little sibling for species reassignment surgery.

Maybe something with hooves…

Written by Cheney W. Halliburton

April 1, 2010 at 7:42 am

What the world needs now

leave a comment »

…is love, sweet love.

Hi, I’m Acorn.

My evil, greedy brother, Cheney, is away on (shudder) business right now, so I’ve taken over this site in the name of Multicultural Youth Against Sexual Stereotypes.

Written by Acorn W. Halliburton

April 1, 2010 at 12:01 am

Posted in Uncategorized

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.