Halliburton World Conquest, Inc.

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Archive for the ‘Artificial Unintelligence’ Category

Joe Biden v2.1

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We’re still working the bugs out of our new replacement animatronic Vice President.

We can’t seem to get its IQ low enough to pass for real.

Written by Cheney W. Halliburton

April 25, 2010 at 1:33 am

(pause for more evil laughter)

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Actually, I haven’t stopped laughing since my last post.

Makes it damn hard to get any work done.

Written by Cheney W. Halliburton

April 13, 2010 at 6:02 pm

(pause for evil laughter)

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I probably should have warned them that the delivery system has a tendency to backfire.”

Did I say “tendency?”

Written by Cheney W. Halliburton

April 3, 2010 at 8:57 am

Please Stand By

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Still working on repairing the site, but Acorn’s operation was a success.

Although far from contented, the ornery critter is at least gainfully employed now, making TV commercials for Chick-fil-A — and is up for the lead in “Back to the Barnyard on Ice.”

Update: There we go.

Written by Cheney W. Halliburton

April 1, 2010 at 1:49 pm

ARRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

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Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for this… spectacle. Please bear with me until I can return to the office and do two things: first, repair the site.

Second, schedule my little sibling for species reassignment surgery.

Maybe something with hooves…

Written by Cheney W. Halliburton

April 1, 2010 at 7:42 am

Two grand? Are you kidding me?

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Democrats are in a stir about allegations someone high up at the Republican National Committee (motto: “Don’t call us the Stupid Party — it has too many syllables.”) spent $2,000 of RNC money at a strip club in West Hollywood (via trolls here).

Isn’t it ironic that people who complain about Republicans’ alleged obsession with other people’s sex lives, are obsessed with the sex lives of Republicans?

Anyway, I find this report unbelievable. I go through more than two grand every day having lunch at The Naughty Capitalist Gentlemen’s Club and Dinner Theater.

Written by Cheney W. Halliburton

March 30, 2010 at 9:39 am

Satire doesn’t stand a chance

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I don’t remember where I first saw that remark, but at a time like this it does seem too true to be funny.

Where does the fault lie for the present predicament? Give me a break — there’s more than enough blame to go around. Congressional Democrats and Barack Obama are the proximate cause, but for some that’s not enough.

Spineless Republican leaders contributed to the Democrats’ victories in 2006 and 2008, failing voters so spectacularly that many decided they had no choice but to punish the GOP — despite warnings the outcome would be even more punishing for the punishers.

George W. Bush? His defenders point out that the federal deficit didn’t really take off until after the 2006 elections, but he was one of those failed Republican leaders, what with his Amnesty-By-Any-Other-Name attempt, his Harriet Miers attempt, and his signature on McCain-Feingold.

And then there are the voters themselves — again, because they cut off their noses to spite their faces in ’06 and ’08 — but also because they let 9/11 and the Global War on Tara overshadow the fact Bush claimed to be a “compassionate” “conservative” but (leaving aside the war) the effect of his actions as President was neither.

All true. Unfortunately for the people harping on it this week, also pointless.

Ironically, the people so angry at the failures of the Stupid Party are failing to distinguish themselves from its stupidity.

There’s still a war on, and this one is taking place in our own capital. Unlike the wackos who protested the Iraq War, HWC does not support the troops when they shoot their officers.

Written by Cheney W. Halliburton

March 23, 2010 at 8:50 am